Have you ever wanted to just get away from life? Lately, I have been having these fantasies about going and living in the middle of the woods – alone. I really don’t want to leave my husband and my kids but I desire solitude, just for a little while. Just for a time, I’d like to live with no civilization; no computers; no phones; no television. I’d like to wake up when the sunlight streams through the windows and go to bed when the light is fading. I want to hear nothing but birds singing and leaves rustling. I want stillness. I want quiet. I want my thoughts to be the only things that break my communion with the trees and the water and the earth. Because I like to name things, I like to call this fantasy of mine “Thoreau-ing it all away”. But maybe not all of it – and not forever. Just for a week or two.
The world is just too much for me right now. The negativity and inhumanity that is occurring is making me weary. I have a hard time focusing on my work these days. I feel overwhelmed and drained and helpless. I no longer have faith that everything will turn out ok. I no longer have faith that people are inherently good and that they will do what is right and just. Getting away – unplugging – is probably not what I should do with all that’s going in the world. I should engage, now more than ever. And I most likely will – tomorrow. But today, in this moment, engaging feels like a heavy burden and I’d like to indulge in this daydream.
In my little cabin in the woods, I will sleep as long as I want to. I will cook to the rhythm of salsa and to the sizzle in the pan, with a glass of wine in my hand. I will take baths and read books (actual books, not just magazines and journals and online news articles). I will take long walks through the forest and stop to listen to the trickle of a stream and to the hooting of an owl. I will write without interruption. I will breath deeply. I will recharge. And then… I will be ready to return to the world.